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Posts Tagged ‘kids’

Happy 3rd Birthday!

July 28th, 2010 1 comment
Happy 3rd Birthday!

Ria turned 3 last week – boy does time fly by quickly! This was her first birthday where she actually understood the concept of a birthday being a celebration, and she was thrilled to be blowing out candles and cutting birthday cake. Of course, if you ask her when her birthday is, you’ll still get an ambiguous “July/August”!

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Woo hoo!! No Tears!

February 24th, 2009 No comments

Woo Hoo!! Today is the BIG day – a tear free drop off at the day care! Okay fine, so relative to everything else in life, this may not be the biggest achievement (she certainly won’t be getting 8 gold medals for this), but for us, it’s a big occasion. After almost two months, Ria went to day care with no fuss or tears. Of course, since she only goes a few days a week, I’m sure the first day back after a gap will result in tears, but we’ll enjoy our victory while it lasts!

Normally Ria starts crying as soon as we pull into the parking lot and she recognizes the building. Today, there were no tears. If she doesn’t cry in the parking lot, she most certainly cries as we enter the building. Not today though. Once we made it through the front door, I was convinced she’ll cry as we walk to her classroom and she sees her regular environment. I opened the door, we walked in, and still not a tear. I looked at her teacher with a sense of surprise. I sat her down and took off her coat and hat – not a word from her. She just looked around the room at the other kids. The teacher asked her if she wanted to go play, and she willingly went to the teacher. I didn’t know what to say – I was floored! I kissed her goodbye and left, she continued played. A few minutes later, I snuck up to the window to peek in thinking she must be crying, but no. She was playing with the toys. I could hardly believe it! We had been longing for this day to come and we’re glad it’s finally here.

What a great day! Now if only the markets would stop their 6-day landslide…

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Separation anxiety

January 13th, 2009 2 comments

Ria started day care last week, and things didn’t exactly go smoothly. She goes three full days a week, and I’m sure that’s three too many for her (and, indirectly, for us too when we see her cry). It’s odd really, this is likely one of the easiest things I’ll ever do as a father – to let her go and have her take her first step of independence from us, yet it seems like one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Every morning we drop her off, we have to leave her crying. She clings to my coat as if holding on for dear life, cries at the top of her lungs, as if asking “Daddin’, Mumma, why are you leaving me here? What did I do wrong? I’m sorry…”. It feels like a dagger through the heart each day, but it is something we must endure for her own good, and for ours.

My folks left for a two-month trip to India on New Year’s Day. Though Ria didn’t cry at all as they left (she probably had no idea what was going on), it’s been pretty hard on her since she spent most of her day with her grandparents. She’s especially close to my Mom, who has been with her just about every day of her life. That, coupled with our dropping her off in a new place with complete strangers for the whole day, has resulted in what appears to us to be a separation anxiety. She’s become very “clingy” for lack of a better word – wanting to be carried all the time and not put down. She constantly looks over her shoulder every few minutes while she plays, to make sure that we’re still there and that no one has abandoned her. I’m afraid that we may be instilling a new kind of fear in her – a fear of abandonment. I surely don’t want her feeling insecure for the rest of her life, but then I also fear that we’re doing what all new parents do the first time – possibly being over-dramatic? After all, surely all kids go through this, and everyone, on average, turns out fine, right?

We could have evaluated other options before choosing to put her in day care – maybe we could have alternated taking time off work to cover the eight-week period that my parents are gone for. Or maybe we could have hired an in-home baby sitter so that Ria is in a familiar environment, hopefully reducing her discomfort. However, we thought it important for Ria to get more social exposure to other kids. Ria is an only child and she has spent most of her 18 months of life with her family – her parents, grandparents, and uncle. Given our frequent moving lately, we haven’t been able to develop a strong social network, and so she has never really been around a lot of other adults or children. Thus, we wanted her to spend more time with other children – something that neither our taking time off work at staying home, or our hiring an in-home baby sitter would have accomplished. Yes, there is emotional trauma for her and us, and yes she is getting sicker more often due to the other children being around, but I figure it’s a small short-term price to pay for what we believe to be a long-term benefit. Besides, not only would an in-home baby sitter not give Ria exposure to other kids, it also wouldn’t allow her to develop an understanding of home versus school.

On the bright side, she is improving. Though every day is certainly different and she has good ones followed by bad ones, she is crying less with each subsequent drop off. She has gone from crying non-stop at the top of her lungs for 45 minutes after drop off and then crying on-and-off all day, to crying for about 10 minutes after drop off and then on-and-off for a fraction of the day. She has gone from crying and fighting diaper change time (she’s not used to being changed on a changing table), to quietly having her diaper changed and then going back to play. And, finally, she’s starting to progress from sitting by herself in a corner to playing with other kids. I wait very eagerly for that day when there is no crying at drop offs, no crying throughout the day, and excited engagement with the other children in all activities.

As for me – well I end up calling the day care 3-4 times a day to check in and see how she’s doing. I can’t wait until it’s time to head out and pick her up, and I speed through traffic just so I can get to her a few minutes earlier… As I think about it more, I don’t know who has more separation anxiety – her or us…

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Sick baby

December 10th, 2008 No comments

I haven’t been able to post to the Y-Factor for a few days now. I was visiting family in Columbus last Thursday through Sunday. Then, as soon as we got back, Ria got sick. Actually, our guess is that she picked something up on Saturday, and didn’t start showing symptoms until Sunday. We (and the doctors) think it’s some kind of viral infection.

Ria didn’t eat much during our drive back on Sunday. Then, during the night, she threw up several times. Poor thing was petrified since throwing up is not the most pleasant of human experiences. Throughout the day Monday she didn’t eat anything (anything we give her was instantly thrown up such that she got no nutrition for over 24 hours) and also had diarrhea. By early Tuesday morning she was very lethargic – unresponsive to play, conversation, or anything. She just lay there, barely able to open her eyes. Needless to say, we rushed to the E.R. at about 6:30 am on Tuesday.

It’s heartbreaking as a parent to see your child go through this (those of you with kids know very well what I’m talking about). Just a couple of days ago she was full of energy and was playful. Her answer to any question involving the word “who” was an enthusiastic Daddin’! (She can’t quite say Daddy yet, which is fine by me since Daddin’ is about the cutest thing you’ll ever hear). Now she doesn’t respond at all – “who’s that?”, “whose baby is Ria?”, “who loves Ria?” – nothing… Not a single Daddin’…

After some blood tests in the E.R. the doctors concluded that she had some kind of viral infection and as a result was severely dehydrated, had severe diarrhea, and very low blood sugar (hence the lethargic behavior). They’ve had her on a saline drip with sugar for the last 36 hours or so to rehydrate her and bring her blood sugar back up. She’s progressing well. I stopped by to see her on my way to work this morning (Bhairavi stayed overnight) – she was in a much better mood. She was actually eating (without throwing up), and was responsive. It was nice to hear “Daddin’” again…

I’ll post more soon - I’ve been reading a bit about auction rate securities (which I was completely oblivious to until today), and have some thoughts on the auto industry bailout. I also need to organize Y-Factor a little better, which I hope to be able to do soon…

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